


Castiel's Secret

by ProfoundBondOfLove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bunker Fic, Castiel in the Bunker, Christmas Fluff, Christmas present, Fallen Castiel, Fic in Fic, First Kiss, Fluff, Human Castiel, M/M, Post Season 8, ficception xD, jealous!Dean, season NEIN doesn't exist NOPE NOPE NOPE., there's a mistletoe, well somewhere it is I SWEAR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 04:06:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfoundBondOfLove/pseuds/ProfoundBondOfLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas time in the bunker!<br/>However, Cas is spending way too much time on that damn laptop when he should be spending it with Dean.<br/>Or, well, decorating the bunker or..whatever. It isn't his business and he isn't jealous. Nope, not jealous at all.<br/>What is he doing on that stupid thing anyway?<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kittens and Christmas Tutorials

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ForeverShippingJohnlock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverShippingJohnlock/gifts).



> Merry Christmas everyone! :) I hope you are all well, had some awesome food today and spend some time with your loved ones!
> 
>    
> This fic is written and is dedicated to Nicki - you rock girl! :) (WE WILL WIN GISHWHES NEXT YEAR - YOU JUST WAIT :P )
> 
> Merry Christmas, Nicki :)
> 
> Huge thanks to my awesome beta Allegra! You're so kind and did an amazing job!   
> (-->fizzlewitz.tumblr.com - GO FOLLOW HER :))

Dean should have known that it was a bad idea right from the start. He should have known that it would be like this. It had all started when Sam had introduced Cas to the miracle that is the World Wide Web. It had begun innocently enough - with online research and cute little cat videos on YouTube. How did it end up like this?

He was walking down the hall on his way down to the kitchen, passing Cas’s room, which was conveniently located right next to his own, when he heard it for the first time. He didn’t give it much thought, though, and was almost at the top of the staircase when he heard it again. He stopped dead in his tracks and was on his way back before he even realized he was moving. The door to Cas’s room was ajar, and, when he looked inside, he could make out Cas’s form under a huge pile of blankets. 

Because of the lack of windows in most of the bunker, the room was almost completely dark. The only source of light was the laptop in front of Cas, which helped him see that the human shaped blanket monster was shaking violently. Now he knew where the sound had come from. Cas was laughing. No. Not only laughing, he was downright giggling like a fourteen year-old school girl and rocking back and forth with a huge smile on his face. 

Alright then. Nothing out of the ordinary for Cas. After all, the laptop had become sort of an extra limb over the past few weeks. He knew who he had to thank for that, and had every intention to do so appropriately. 

He sighed and made his way to the kitchen, where he found Sam with his back turned to(wards?) him, preparing his rabbit food breakfast. Seriously who eats vegetables and all kinds of weird shit this early in the morning? Willingly?! 

He snuck up on his little brother and smacked him playfully upside the back of his head.

“Ouch! What the..!” He took a fighting stance but stopped and relaxed instantly when he saw who had hit him. 

“What the hell was that for? Good morning to you too, asshole,” he said rubbing his head and turning back around to his food on the stove.

Dean didn’t respond at first and took one of the cups, pouring himself the rest of the coffee instead. Sasquatch could make himself a new pot if he wanted more. He was a big boy and Dean had needs after all.

“That’s for turning Cas into a teenage girl. I should have known that too much of your influence would make him grow a vagina one day. Are you having fun at your slumber parties, gossiping about the boys you like and braiding each other’s hair?” 

Sam only huffed loudly in response and rummaged around the kitchen for a clean plate and cutlery to use. He sat down in the empty chair next to Dean and raised his eyebrows so high that Dean was worried they’d become one with his hairline. 

“Very funny, Dean. Very funny! What happened?”

And as bitch face No. 63 was thrown his way, he knew he had some explaining to do before his sister could get out the big guns and start to talk about his ‘douchebag behavior’,which was oooobviously just a strategy to hide his real girly feelings and shit.

“Cas is hiding in his room again. With his laptop. You know, the one that YOU got him… And we both know what this means. The last time this happened, he was in there for three days. Three days, man! We practically had to force-feed him! I ain’t doing this shit anymore. He’s a grown man, and grown-ups don’t lock themselves in their rooms to watch kittens on YouTube or some weird ass online tutorial on how to decorate your home perfectly for Christmas! If he was watching porn at least, I could get behind it. Seriously, there’s some awesome stuff out there that.. huh.. but uhh anyways… This needs to stop and I mean RIGHT NOW.”

Dean glanced at his brother and waited for a reaction, anything to indicate that his brother understood the importance of the problem on hand but all he got in return was a huge grin.  
He watched Sam stuff his super healthy dumbass food in his ridiculously gigantic mouth and wondered if he was to blame if he hit him again. HARD.

When the plate was empty, Sam finally looked at him - the annoying grin still in place.

“Awwww. It’s so cute.”

“What?” 

Seriously, what? This really wasn't the reaction he had anticipated. Cute? What was cute about any of this? It seemed that his confusion was clearly visible on his face because Sam continued:

“It’s cute that you’re jealous of a laptop. Is Cas not spending as much time with you as he used to? Is that it? The big reason why you’re so moody all the time?”

Oh that lil motherfucker. Dean and jealous? Of a laptop? Huh, no way in hell. Dean was NOT jealous. Of course not. Why would he be? Cas is his own fucking person, and it’s his own decision to divide how much time he spends with his friends and how much time he spends with that stupid piece of trash. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Samantha,” was all he said before returning to his room.

“THIS ISN’T OVER YET AND YOU KNOW IT,” echoed through the bunker.


	2. Evil blankets

The next few days flew by in a haze, and Cas still hadn’t left his room for more than the occasional snack or a quick run to the bathroom. Dean had kinda begun to worry about him. 

Okay – rationally, there was no need to. He was perfectly safe with them. Finally! The bunker had protection against all kinds of supernatural beings and was even warded against angels now. Crowley was still in the dungeon and he had ganked Abaddon when she had made a reappearance a few months ago. Theoretically, Cas was okay and wasn’t facing any danger, but that still didn’t change the fact that he wanted to burst through that door and drag him downstairs right at this moment.

Was what so great about this damn laptop anyway?

He was on his way downstairs again, when decided that enough was enough. He stopped in front of Cas’s door, his hand raised in an attempt to knock, but – to hell with it – he thought and just opened it wide. The second Cas laid eyes upon him, several things happened at once. 

Cas shrieked in a high-pitched voice, throwing the laptop off the bed in a failed attempt of closing it, which made Cas himself fall off the bed sideways, because his blanket burrito hindered any useful movements to prevent the fall. Dean jumped in surprise at the turn of events and couldn’t stop the loud laugh from escaping his mouth. 

“Cas, you alright?” he asked and moved forwards to grab him and the multiple layers of blankets around him, helping him back onto the bed. 

Dean sat down next to Cas and looked at him for what felt like first time in weeks. He had a visible stubble, his eyes were wide in shock, and his cheeks had a really cute touch of red to them.

Cute? What..cute? Really, Dean?  
He didn’t answer at first, but simply stared back at him. Here we go again.

“Cas? Earth to Caaaas..?”

And as if he had just realized who was sitting with him, Cas hurriedly tried freeing himself from the clutches of the evil blankets. 

“Dean.. I ..ummm. I am sorry. Was there something you wanted? Do you need my assistance?” He asked and looked up at him again. He seemed to be really nervous. Huh.

“Cas were you..you know..Did I interrupt something?” Dean cleared his throat and licked his lips. Was it suddenly hot in there? 

Cas seemed even more nervous then but there was also something else in his expression. He looked genuinely confused.  
“No. Of course not, Dean. What would you be interrupting? I mean I was just..oh..OH! No, Dean. I was just..reading. “ 

Huh. Of course he was reading. A billion years-old celestial being couldn't masturbate to weird Internet porn like everybody else. Of course he was reading and most probably about stuff that Dean could never even begin to comprehend. But why was he nervous about it? 

“Okay, buddy. Just lemme get this straight. It’s cool that you enjoy reading and all, but you’ve been in here for a few days now, and we kinda worry about you. I mean, I worry about you, you know? Why don’t you come down with me, I’m gonna make you a hot chocolate and we’re gonna watch that stupid Christmas movie you’ve been telling me about for the last few weeks? Sound good?”

And if the way Cas’s face lit up like a frikkin Christmas tree wasn‘t a loud and clear YES he didn’t know what was.

Two hours later, he found himself on the couch next to a freshly showered ex-angel with approximately the fifth cup of eggnog in his hand. Cas was holding his cup of hot chocolate like it was the Holy Grail, his fingers unconsciously stroking it up and down. His gaze was fixed on the screen where a Christmas movie was playing. 

Of course, didn’t recognize it, but how could he? As a kid he never had the time to actually do the stuff kids usually do. It didn’t really bother him, but what did was the way Cas constantly looked at him every time he thought he wasn’t paying attention. He was used to Cas staring but this was different. Somehow things had changed over the last few months. 

Ever since they had found him, after countless hours of driving all over the country, under a fucking bridge of all places, looking like a sad homeless person, Dean had started to see him in a different light. He had sworn to himself the second he had wrapped his arms around Cas’s slim, dirty and exhausted figure, that he would do everything to keep him safe, to make him happy. 

Cas deserved nothing less for everything he had done. Dean was tired of fighting, tired of all the drama between them. Cas was family, and nothing could change that. Dean had done everything in his power to make him feel welcome from the moment they had passed the threshold of their home.

They had spent a lot of their free time together. At first it was to make sure that Cas could defend himself in case of upcoming danger, but they soon learned that Cas was more than capable of doing so. He had been a warrior of Heaven for millennia, after all. Later, then it had been mostly watching movies together and updating Cas on everything one should know about pop culture. 

They had cooked and sometimes even baked together (Okay they had done that more often lately because hey - Christmas is a great excuse to make awesome food)  
From time to time they would they would even go to bars or see a movie at the cinema, and it became kind of a thing for them. Sam used to make fun of them and their ‘date nights’, but Dean really couldn’t care less. 

Tsk. As if two grown men couldn’t spend some quality time together. Ridiculous. 

In fact, Dean very much enjoyed it. He enjoyed everything these days if Cas was involved. They had grown close again and that was exactly what was bothering him right now. 

Okay, so maybe Sam really had a point. He hated that stupid laptop. Why had Cas suddenly lost interest in him? Had he done something wrong? 

He glanced sideways just in time to see Cas turn his head back around to the screen in front of them. So he had been watching him, but why didn’t he hold his gaze, why didn’t he stare at him anymore? Wasn’t that like Cas’s thing all along?

When he looked closer, he could see a blush forming on his cheeks again. Something was really off here. He decided to think about it some other time. Maybe when he wasn’t half drunk and extremely tired.


	3. Accidents don't happen accidentally

By the time he woke up it was completely dark, and for a moment he couldn’t remember where he was. Ah. Right. He must have fallen asleep while watching that Christmas movie. Sam and Kevin had probably come back from wherever the hell they had been and had turned the TV off. Okay, time for bed then. 

He tried moving but there was something lying on top of him. Something warm and soft and kinda heavy, but it wasn’t really an unpleasant weight. Actually, it was rather nice. 

He blinked a few times, and when his eyes had adjusted to the bad lighting conditions, he could make out a mop of dark hair lying on top of his chest. Also his hands were holding onto something tightly. 

His brain finally caught up with what was going on, and his first reaction was to jump off of the couch and get away as fast as he could. He didn’t, though. 

Oh, fuck. He was cuddling. Goddamn fucking cuddling. And with Cas of all people – holy shit. It was kinda...awesome though, he had to admit that.

It had been years since he had held someone like this, and when he was perfectly honest with himself, he really missed it sometimes. However, with Lisa it had been different.  
He tried getting up again, but Cas didn’t budge an inch. His arms were secured around Dean’s neck, and how the fuck hadn’t he noticed that before? 

Okay he should really …yup he should do that.. He sighed and wiggled under Cas to get his attention, but all he got in return was a loud sigh, and the arms around his neck tightened. Oh, crap. 

Okay, think logically, Winchester. How do you get out of a situation like this? He sure as hell wasn’t the first one to fall asleep and wake up cuddling with his best friend on accident. But, on the other hand, accidents didn’t happen accidentally. Or did they?

Once more a sigh escaped Dean’s lips as Cas nuzzled his face into his shirt, and he really didn’t know what made him do it, but he leaned forward instinctively and placed a soft kiss on the back of Cas’s head.

And then - out of fucking nowhere - it hit him. It hit him like a brick wall right in the face. It seemed so obvious all of a sudden. 

Somewhere along the line it had happened. He had feelings. Goddamn Jesus on a flatbread feelings. Dean Winchester was in love with an ex angel. 

How the hell had that happened? When had it happened? How could you fall in love without even noticing it? Was that even possible? It seemed like it. 

Oh god what was he supposed to do now? Did Cas know? Was that why he behaved so strangely? Maybe he had noticed and was uncomfortable with it? But then again, Cas was right there with him, clinging onto him like his life depended on it. Could it…okay relax, Winchester. You survived the apocalypse now get the fuck over it and man up. 

He should simply ask Cas in the morning. He should ask him if he’s the reason why he was behaving like a hermit all the time. For now he decided to fuck it all and enjoy the moment. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, thinking about all Cas and he had been through over the years. 

It was a miracle they were both still alive and now..maybe they could have something special together. MAYBE. If Cas even wanted to. Who knew if angels, even if they were fallen angels, did stuff like that. Relationships probably looked ridiculous to someone like Cas. Huh. A relationship. He didn’t even know whether Cas felt the same and was already thinking about getting together. 

Somehow, in the back of his mind, there was this little voice telling him that everything would be allright. And, well, it better be. They both deserved some happiness. Didn’t they? Yes, they did. And, with that thought in mind, he pulled Cas closer, kissed his temple affectionately and drifted back into the land of dreams.


	4. Jackpot

This time when he woke up, it wasn’t nearly as pleasant as the last time. Firstly, Cas seemed to have vanished into thin air. Secondly, his head hurt like someone had hit him with Thor’s hammer. And thirdly, Sam and Kevin were discussing Christmas decorations at an inhuman volume for this ungodly hour.

Well, at least he assumed it was an ungodly hour. In reality it was probably midday. A glance to the side sadly confirmed this. The ugly red digits announced that it was in fact 1:34 PM. How had he slept for so long? There were times when four hours were more than enough for him and now he had practically missed half of the day. 

But back to the bigger problems at hand: Where had Cas gone and why? Where had he put the aspirin the last time and more importantly - could Sam and Kevin please go fuck themselves?

“Jeez. Could you both please talk a lil louder? Your beautiful voices haven’t blown up my head yet,” he grumbled as he got up and stumbled towards the kitchen.

Really though, where had he put the damn aspirins? Sam and Kevin seemed unimpressed as they just ignored him and argued about where to put the reindeer. A reindeer? Seriously? Why did they have a reindeer? And why now? Tonight was Christmas Eve already, and they hadn't ever really celebrated any holidays. To be fair, they hadn’t had a roof over their head most of the time,so, yeah, maybe it made sense to do it now. Better late than never, or something along those lines.

 

He could also vaguely remember Cas talking about how beautiful it’d be it they bought a tree and everything, but no. Just no. 

Speaking, or rather thinking, of the devil – or angel - damnit, where was he? Had he been disgusted when he woke up entangled in the sheets with him? Or had he been embarrassed? Either way, he decided to let the girls do their decorating and go looking for Cas. 

After the realization he had had the night before, there was no way in hell he would just let him bury himself in his room with that damn laptop again. 

He gulped down some Ibuprofen and quickly made his way upstairs, taking two steps a time to get there faster. When he was standing in the hallway, he could feel his heart beating loudly against his ribcage. What was he even doing? Should he just barge in like the last time and make him drop the thing? Nah that wouldn’t help anything. It would probably just make him mad at him, and that was the last thing he wanted. Knocking it was then.

He walked down the hall to Cas’s room and just listened. He couldn’t hear a damn thing, so he did as planned and knocked. 

No reaction.

“Cas?” He called. Still no reaction.

“Cas!” He tried again, louder this time. 

Finally he could hear some rustling and eventually steps coming closer. The door opened and Cas poked his head out. 

“Yes? Is it time for lunch yet? I can be there in a,” but Dean didn’t let him finish.  
He pushed the door open so he could enter the room, moved forward with grand strides, and backed Cas up against his bed. 

“Dean, what.. what are you doing?” Cas asked, his eyes wide with fear. And yes, good question. What was he doing? He hadn’t thought this through. Quick, dumbass. Make something up!

“Ummm,” he said eloquently. “Sam and Kev.. they… they are decorating downstairs. Just like you wanted. They need help, so you should go and lend them a hand.” 

Yes, this should do it. But it wasn’t entirely what he had had in mind.  
Dean opened his mouth to add more but closed it for a loss of words again. Cas looked at him curiously, doing that cute head tilt he always did when he was confused.  
Oh man, he had it bad. 

“Oh and.. I was wondering if I could borrow your laptop for a second? I wanna look something up and Sam doesn’t wanna give me his, you know? You and your porn, Dean. Viruses, yadda yadda. You know what I mean?” 

At this Cas’s eyes got comically wide, and sheer terror could be seen in them. Jesus Christ, what was Cas doing on that thing? 

It couldn’t be THAT bad, could it?  
After a moment of utter silence, he had obviously composed himself and answered: 

“Oh absolutely, yes, of course you can borrow it, Dean. Just give me a moment,” he said, walking around the bed to where his laptop was still lying and began clicking frantically. 

A moment later he came back around with Dean’s object of hate in tow, handing it to him.

“Thanks man!” Dean said cheerily and looked up at Cas, who seemed to be really nervous.

He gave him one of his long, deep soul stares again, then turned around abruptly and was gone in the blink of an eye. Man, this had been way easier than he had thought. He walked over to the door, locking it by way of precaution, and went to sit on the bed with the laptop on his knees. 

He had to reopen the browser, which meant that Cas had probably read, whatever he was reading all the time, online and not as a file. This was great help indeed, because it saved him the time he would have had to spend to go through all of his datasets, too. AWESOME. 

Now he just had to pray to Cas’s dad that he hadn’t thought of deleting his browser history. Aaaaand jackpot! 

Okay none of these sites sounded even in the slightest familiar to him. What the hell was Tumblr? Live-Journal? Archiveofourown?  
He clicked the first link and waited for it to open. They should really call Charlie sometime to get faster wifi…Finally it opened and what he saw made his blood run cold. 

_DESTIEL CHRISTMAS FIC REC - THE BEST FLUFF IS RIGHT HERE – WE KNOW YOU WANT IT  
Dean/Castiel fics organized by rating. Whether you want them making sweet love to “Last Christmas” or kissing innocently under the mistletoe, these fics will rotten your teeth with their fluffiness!_

Thank god he was already sitting. He opened a few of the links that caught his interest in new tabs and began to read. 

_Dean pushed him up against the wall, his hands firmly on Cas’s hips, holding him in place, while his lips left a trail of tender kisses down his neck. Cas’s breathing became erratic, his hands roaming over Dean’s well-toned back down to his ass. He gripped him tight and raised him from heterosexuality.  
“DEAN!” he moaned and.._

HOLY CRAP. That bastard. All the time Dean had thought Cas didn’t have any interest in him whatsoever, the little asshole had been reading about them getting it on. This had to be the best Christmas present EVER. 

Dean had absolutely no control over the huge smile that crept up his face. It just happened. 

But what now? He could just go downstairs and tell him, couldn’t he? It didn’t seem right though. After all they had been through, he couldn’t just go like:  
“Oh hey Cas, I know you have feelings for me. Great news! I like you too!” No way in hell. It had to be special, it had to be something to remember.  
For a moment he just sat there, his brain coming up with the craziest ideas until....

Ohhh he had the perfect idea. Cas wouldn’t know what had hit him, that was for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I laughed so hard during this x) I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!


	5. Christmas hell

Dean was officially in Christmas hell. He stood in the kitchen, leaning with his back against the fridge and trying to remember why he had let those dorks do it on their own. 

It looked like Santa Claus himself had thrown up on everything. No matter where he looked, all he could see was red, white, green and glitter. 

There were snow men, stars, angels (and really - who thought that’d be a good idea?) and not just one reindeer, but a dozen of them all over the kitchen and what they used as their living room. He rolled his eyes in annoyance and groaned. 

At least he had already spotted the little something he would need for his plan and put it into the back pocket of his jeans when no one was looking.

“Stop being an ass and come over here, Dean,” called Sam, patting the free spot on the couch next to him in a gesture of invitation.

He walked over to them, plopping down on the couch between Cas and Sam and decided to put his arm on the backrest behind Cas. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Cas’s eye widen again and tried his best to contain his laughter. He couldn’t let his stupidity ruin his perfect plan.

Kevin, who sat opposite of them on the armchair, looked at them curiously but seemed to lose interest pretty quickly. He just shrugged and turned his attention back to the cookies on his plate. 

Sam wasn’t that easy to fool though, so he faced him directly, giving him the dopiest smile he could muster and dared him to say something. Sometimes, and especially with huge Sasquatch monsters like Sam, it was better to go toe-to-toe. 

His brother raised an eyebrow in confusion but other than that Dean supposed he was good to go. Let’s get this show on the road, he thought and turned around to Cas on his left.

 

“So…Cas. Thanks for letting me borrow your laptop. I found something you should really check out, you know? It would really help us with research in the future,” he said with a glint in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm an asshole this one was REALLY short. But I promise I will make up for it with the next one!


	6. Courage

“You’re very welcome, Dean. And thank you, I will look into it immediately,” Castiel said and got up from the couch and made his way up to his room. 

He was glad to get out of the difficult situation Dean had exposed him to. Their proximity was arduous to cope with these days. Truth be told, it was beyond him what Dean could have found that was so important, and he was just glad HE hadn’t been found out. It would be tremendously horrific if Dean ever learned the full truth. How would he react? He did not even want to imagine.

One day, he feared, his body would betray him again, and Dean would finally notice. It pained him that he had no control over its reactions ever since he had become human. The overall heightened body temperature, the consistent blush on his cheecks, the staring. The last thing was the most ridiculous one, because he had always done this, but it had never had such an impact on himself before. It was nerve-wracking. He could feel his hands starting to get sweaty, hear the blood rushing in his ears. How did humans live like this?

Glad that he was finally in the safety of his own room again, he closed the door and sat down on the bed. He took a deep breath and felt the air filling his lungs. It was funny how such a small action could help, but it really did. He laughed at his preposterous insecurities. There was no reason to worry about anything.

Castiel opened the laptop, looking for anything Dean could have meant for him to see but was there was not a single browser tab opened. Had he accidentally closed it again?  
This was really odd...

He scratched the back of his head, a habit he had picked up from Dean, funny enough, and looked for anything else he could have meant. A glance at his taskbar revealed an open word document. However, Castiel had never used it before. Curiosity got the best of him and so he clicked on it.

_Dean wondered if Castiel knew what he saw when he looked at him._  
 _He wondered if he could ever make him realize how important he was, how happy he made him whenever he was around, how fast he could make his heart beat.  
He wondered if Castiel could ever feel the same way. _

_Dean had always felt this way, he just hadn’t realized. Maybe it was exactly like every clichéd movie said. Sometimes you don’t see what’s right in front of you._

_You ignore the butterflies in your stomach whenever he’s touching you, shrugging it off as too much food.  
You ignore the thoughts of kissing him whenever he’s looking at you, staring straight into your soul._

_One day though, you can’t ignore it anymore._  
 _You can’t ignore it when you wake up in the middle of the night with him lying on top of you._  
 _You can’t ignore it anymore when you suddenly realize you want to pull him closer and never let him go again._  
 _You can’t ignore it when you kiss his head and think about how much you wished he were awake to kiss you back._

_No. You simply can’t._

_If Dean were brave enough, he would say all of that to his face.  
But Dean is bad with words. Well, bad with spoken words. It takes him forever to write, too. But that’s okay. It’s okay, because it finally needs to be said._

_If Dean were brave enough, he wouldn’t have the irrational fear that his best friend could still reject him no matter what he reads in his free time.._

_Well, maybe .._

_Maybe he is just waiting for the right time._  
 _Maybe he is just waiting for Cas to give him a sign._  
 _Maybe he is gathering the courage to do something._  
 _Maybe..he is gathering the courage to do.._

Gathering the courage to do..what? Castiel couldn’t believe what he had just read. 

Why was there a fan fiction on his laptop? But it couldn’t be a fan fiction. It was too real. It was..it was exactly what had happened the night before.  
No one knew about this. No one but Dean…

It couldn’t be Dean. Or could it? Could Dean have written this? Did this mean that.. but wait a second.

“The courage to do..what?” He muttered under his breath. Why did he leave it like that? What did that even mean? 

He was so confused he couldn’t even find the rights words for it. He got up and walked up and down in his room. What should he do now? 

“The courage to do WHAT?” He asked louder again this time, tearing the door open and storming out into the hallway, only to run right into someone. 

He looked up, and his breath caught in his throat. It was Dean. Dean and his ridiculously beautiful green eyes staring back at him. He licked his lips and as much as Castiel tried to, he couldn’t not stare at them.

“The courage..to do..what?” He whispered, looking up just in time to see him coming closer.

“To do..this,” Dean breathed and sealed his lips with his own. 

For a second, Castiel was too overwhelmed to react. Then, as if he had never done anything else, he kissed back with all the passion he possessed. One of his hands found its way into Dean’s hair, where he gripped him tightly. Dean gasped into his mouth and put both of his hands on Cas’s hips, trying to bring them closer. Something fell down on the floor next to them but neither of them paid attention to it until they pulled away reluctantly. 

Sadly, both of them needed to breathe.

“That was..” he began. 

“Yeah..” finished Dean, out of breath. They stared at each other, lost in each other’s eyes, both clearly unable to process what had just happened. 

Dean was the first to function properly again. He bent down to pick up what had fallen down earlier. Castiel looked at it, furrowing his brow. 

“Is that a..mistletoe?” 

“Yes..Yeah..I mean..well,” Dean stammered. “I figured that if my plan didn’t work out, I could just, you know..?” he babbled, holding the mistletoe over his head between both of them. 

“This way I would have gotten my kiss no matter what.”

Castiel couldn’t hold it back, and he started laughing whole-heartedly. It was so typically Dean to always have a plan B. Don’t go in without an emergency plan, Cas! How often had he hard this in the last few months? He tried to stop laughing and took a deep breath instead.

“You done?” Dean grinned at him. 

“Yes, Dean. I must say I admire your plan. Mistloe is truly wonderful for many reasons. Did you know that it has been used for centuries in European herbalism? It has been used for arthritis, headaches and even...”

“Oh for god’s sake, shut up!” Dean laughed and pulled him back in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I guess..this is it! I hope you enjoyed it :)
> 
> HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, and because a few of you asked, here is my tumblr: Profoundbondoflove.tumblr.com 
> 
> I post mostly Destiel (who would have thought, right?) Come talk to me :)


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